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Big-Bad-Wolfe

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Hey there, it's been a while. A long while. I’m not sure where to even begin… Well, I guess first thing’s first, gosh I am so sorry about basically scamming some of you guys. Begging for commissions, taking the money, and then disappearing like that… Yuck. First I gotta say, I’m refunding the money from those commissions. Around 5 years (yikes) late doing so. But anyways, I can’t find Antasma or Hiyawoffa, so if anyone knows how to get in contact with them, please let me know! 🙏

Now the explanation. As it turns out, when I’m stressed, I shut down. I kept telling myself all this time that I should be perfectly capable of drawing those commissions. But I guess I was more severely depressed than I thought. (Still odd to consider myself “severe”.) I haven’t been able to draw much at all over these years. I want to draw, but for some reason, I can’t get myself to. I guess one of those reasons would be owed art. It’s incredibly frustrating and embarrassing, not being able to do something that seems so incredibly easy.


Anyways, I recently got to a place where I could work a part-time job, and now I can pay you guys back! : )


As for the prizes I owed from Your Story OCT… I’m so sorry to let you all down… I know some of you were pretty excited for those… : ( I really do wish I’d gotten those all done when I promised I would, rather than telling you all “I can’t” 5 years later…


The lesson I learned here is that I should not promise someone art, as my track record isn’t so great there. Most people are perfectly capable of drawing for money or prizes, I’m just going to have to accept that–as long as my depression is affecting me as much as it is and in the way it is–I’m just not able. I can’t say “and that’s okay”, as this has led to unfulfilled promises and basically stealing money, and I miss having fun drawing. Hopefully, sometime in the future, I can enjoy drawing again.


After taking care of business, I’m not sure If I’ll ever be active on this account again–there’s a lot of stuff here that reminds me of stressors and I have to fight against withdrawing all over again. However, I might make a new account here (even though a lot of people left when Eclipse happened haha…). If I do, or if I just decide to be active somewhere else, I’ll make another journal entry or post. : ) Until then, you can assume I’m still inactive, haha.


I’m probably forgetting to address a lot of things… Augh, oh well…


To those who read this wall of text and made it this far, thank you. Hope you have a nice day. <3 If you didn’t, that’s fair, lol. Still hope you have a nice day, even if you don’t notice this bit. <3

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Interest Check

5 min read



Hello everyone, yet another announcement here!



With our small opening, we need to do an "Interest Check" (like an Activity Check but less strict). We've noticed that more than half the member's are inactive, and we just need to do a check to see who's still interested in being part of the group. A little "spring cleaning" if you will. The inaccurate number of participating members is quite daunting to new prospective members. 

All members, please reply to this journal either stating your interest in staying in this group or lack of. Don't be ashamed to admit that you've lost interest if you have! We'll be sad to see you go, but we don't want to force you to stay if you don't have the drive! 

This Check will stay open until July 8th

Anyone who hasn't replied to this journal by then will be removed from the group regardless. 

If you either leave or are removed via Interest Check, you are free to join back in at anytime, open or not!


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Tagged by that wonderful traitor ToraBri 
How dare
You lovely person you
>:C :heart:
Also I'm tired of that other journal being on my front page ishfuiahoujfiJ

Rules:
1. You have to post the rules.
2. You have to answer the 12 questions you were asked and ask 12 questions to the people you tag.
3. Tag 12 people. 
4. Tag those people in the end.
5. You can't say that you "don't do tags." :stare: 
6. Tag backs are permitted.
7. You must do the journal entry.



1. What do you mostly watch or listen to on youtube?
These days it's mostly "Dope or Nope", "Team Edge", and "Exotics Lair". I'm a YouTube junky tho so I watch a lot. :v

2. Mcdonalds or Burger King?
McDonalds tbh

3. Pick a superpower you'd want to have.
Teleportation/aportation. So many applications. ;D
That, or those shadow tendril thingies I use for my sona.
Third choice, flight/super legs for speed and high jump. :}c

4. Favorite aesthetic when it comes to ocs or character designs? What's something that tends to make you like a character more?
I tend to like minimalistic designs. My fav aesthetic tho, is what I call "badass" and what most people call "spooky" or "edgy". Discord Pensive Emoji 

5. A song you'd blast at your funeral.


Jk

....I wonder how pissed people would be if I blasted "Undead Lullaby" by JT Music.... Discord Emoji - Thinking 

6. What was the book you hated the least that your school forced you to read in English class?
Hated the least?
Uhhhh.... I don't remember. c': The McGee one maybe?

7. A video game universe you wouldn't mind living in or being apart of?
//SLAMS HANDS DOWN
SKYRIM. Easy Peasy.

8. What vid makes you lose it whenever you watch it? plz share
Discord Emoji - Thinking 





9. Favorite slang word that was invented/made popular within the past 4-5 years??
Hmmmmm.... Heck

10. Weirdest thing you've taken inspiration from when designing an oc.
Myself. I was the weirdest inspiration. :V

11. The most important thing or most valuable lesson you've learned as you've gotten older?
Don't do me like this I'm a sleeby bum, fam...
Uhhhh....
Humans are incapable of functioning alone. I thought I could prove this wrong when I was younger. I was wrong. And the price I pay for isolating myself is a diseased, rotting mind and soul. Humans cannot survive cold and alone for long.
If you don't think your friends or family will be there for you, find a professional that fits you best. Trust me, pretty much everyone these days would benefit from talking to professional. It doesn't mean you're broken or something's wrong with you, it just means you'll be healthy and happier in the future.

12. Shrek 2 is the only valid sequel
Ur the only valid sequel~ EXO : Luhan Heart 



My questions to you that I have pulled out of my buttocks as I am a tired bum:
1. Are you a fellow Skyrim nerd? : D
2. Would you kill if it meant surviving?
3. Are hotdogs a sandwich or a taco?
4. Do you prefer muted colors, pastel colors, or neon colors?
5. Lush environment aesthetic, or barren desolation aesthetic?
6. Were you forced to read "The Grapes of Wrath" in school and did you just use Spark Notes like I did? :V
7. How much sunlight do you usually get per day?
8. Weirdest OC you have? Squidward Sexy (Blinking Eyes) 
9. What am I to you? HAV - Hagar the Horrible 
10. Who's your least favorite OC?
11. Do you read webcomics? And if you do, which are your favorites? Plz feed my addiction. If not, call Nine-One-Bun.
12. How do you feel about suicide?


Tagging:
:iconraddatoons: 
:icontfulmi: :icondigital-cacophony: :icontheflotinghead:
:icondragoneye321: :iconperfectshadow06: :iconmadbuns: :iconchoco-d: 
:iconaraneaee: :icongoldbeauti: :iconphoenixxamaranth: :iconlumipop:


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I Failed

7 min read



Oof, I have been putting off writing this journal all week...

So basically... Despite your guy's tremendous and generous help, I still managed to back myself into a financial corner, and left myself with few options so...

Yeah, I'm moving back in with my parents today, and back into all that toxicity I worked so hard to get away from and wasting all that money that was donated to get me out of there in the first place.

Yay.

More specifically, when I say that I backed myself into a corner, what I really mean is me and my depression fell into an arguably all-time low. I would kinda rather not say this--as it's definitely going to worry some people--but to be honest, I've been struggling to get out of bed for the last...month? Yeah, month. Wait, no...oof, either two or three months. I can't remember what exactly happened in December? But anyways, it's been a while. And by "struggling to get out of bed", I mean that I'd only managed to drag myself out of bed maybe two times a day. Once to go to the bathroom and feed the cats, and maybe once to eat--if I could bother myself to prep food.

I know, not exactly a healthy lifestyle. But I keep getting stuck in the mentality of "why bother?" and "what's the point?". Of course I know why I should get up--I should clean the apartment, take care of trash, clean dishes, apply to jobs, respond to voicemails for possible job interviews, play with the cats, eat food, take a damn shower, draw all that crap ton of owed art, socialize, go to therapy, and so on--but logic rarely makes an impact on a mind saturated with mental illness...

I can't keep begging for money when I won't friggin' do anything about my situation, so despite myself, I've decided it's best to just face the consequences and go back to the Land Without Wifi, aha.

Mom's at least trying understand, and her focus isn't going to be on me getting a job, it's getting me back to at least functioning (a.k.a. focus on finding and regularly going to therapy again). So there's that at least. Though knowing her, plus being around my depressed dad, plus my little sister and I rubbing off on each other...I can't say I'm too optimistic about my improvement anytime soon.

What all this means for you guys is...well, not much, actually.

My activity will still probably be pretty low--what with only having Verizon data to access the internet (and lack of motivation to interact with people)--and art is...well, I've basically been on an unofficial hiatus I guess?????

I am so, so sorry for not getting any owed art done--especially to you patient folks from Your Story OCT who've been waiting for absolute ages. Honestly, I haven't even touched my art tablet in who knows how long. I swear I'm not being like "lol yay I got money time to ignore the art part". I will get them done.
EvenifI'manoldfogeybythetimeIdo

Oh right, uh, speaking of the OCT...there probably won't be a season 2. Not because of this, but because it doesn't look like very many people are interested. Sorry for giving up the hopes of the 18 or so people that were interested. ^^'

Side note, in case anyone asks... Erm, no I...don't really want to talk about things with anyone here. Sorry if that sounds harsh. It's just that I've noticed how infectious depression is. When someone continuously vents about negative things to people, those negative feelings start rubbing off on them. Please don't give me that "I don't care" crap. I appreciate you guys wanting to help, but people's minds are only built to take in so much stress, and you guys are pretty freakin' stressed as it is without my help. 

But um... Yeah, that's my life update, I guess. Sorry that it's so...well, depressing, haha. c':

If you got to this point, thanks for taking the time to read this sad sap of a story, lol. I really do appreciate it. c:

Have a nice day, regardless. <3

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:iconlazepoolplz:

I have a need for the 
munz

Curse them munz

But yeah I uh... I've been unemployed since November 2nd, I apparently don't qualify for unemployment because the government site doesn't seem to understand what a "seasonal job" is(??), I've run out of emergency funds, and I've already gone to my parents without clueing them in on how much of a failure t life I am a h a I really don't want to go through the lecture of holding down a job

Big Stress

Big Bills

Big Oof

But yeah, I wouldn't come asking you guys if it wasn't serious. c': BUT NO DONATIONS THIS TIME IneedtopayyouallpackandIcan'tstandbeing anymoreindebtedtoyouwonderfulpeople//sob

Though honestly, I wanted to wait until I had better, more recent examples. I guess I'll just have to work with what I got. :"D

Plz note me (or comment, if you'd rather, idk I was just thinking people would prefer privacy '>v>) if you're interested! I'm gonna keep them as cheap as possible, but if you can't afford the commissions, I'd really appreciate a signal boost! (  ;v; )/

Pixel Rose Divider 2 - Purple Pixel Rose Divider 2 - Black Pixel Rose Divider 2 - Turquoise Pixel Rose Divider 2 - Black Pixel Rose Divider 2 - Purple  

What I Can Draw:
- Humans/Humanoids
- Anthros
- Feral
- Pretty much any non-sexual creature
- Light romance
- Horror
- Dark Themes
- Light Gore 
- Gore NSFW
- Body Horror
- Action Scenes

What I Won't Draw:
- Sexual Themes (Especially Fetishes)
- Hateful Content (Such as Racism)
- Super detailed characters like Bayformers (I just don't have the time)


SKETCHED
Bust - $2
Waist-Up - $3
Full - $5
+ extra character - $3 (specify how they are interacting please)
Moonlit Wind WIP by Big-Bad-Wolfe

FLAT COLOR
Bust - $3
Waist-Up - $5
Full - $8
+ extra character - $4 (specify how they are interacting please)



SHADED
Bust - $5
Waist-Up - $7
Full - $10
+ extra character - $6 (specify how they are interacting please)
+ paint rendering - $3

Ignorance is Bliss by Big-Bad-Wolfe


FULL SCENE, FLAT SHADING
Starting at $12 - Price is likely to go up the more complex the background
Base price covers a scene with 1 character, with maybe a bit of atmospheric shading
+ extra character - $6


FULL SCENE, FULL RENDER
Starting at $15 - Price is likely to go up the more complex the background
Base price covers a scene with 1 character, with fully rendered shading
+ extra character - $10
Elevator Pitch 2.0 by Big-Bad-Wolfe

Pixel Rose Divider 2 - Purple Pixel Rose Divider 2 - Black Pixel Rose Divider 2 - Turquoise Pixel Rose Divider 2 - Black Pixel Rose Divider 2 - Purple  

PLEASE FILL OUT THE FORM. It'll help a lot  ;v;
Username:
Type of Commission:
Number of Characters:
Reference Sheet(s): provide characters name if it isn't there
What are you wanting?: What do you want the characters doing? Expression, background if needed

:icondecoleft-plz::icondecoline-plz::icondecocenter-plz::icondecoline-plz::icondecoright-plz:
0%: Galaxy spill Progress bar 0% 
25%: Galaxy spill Progress bar 25% 
50%: Galaxy spill Progress bar 50% 
75%: Galaxy spill Progress bar 75% 
100%: Galaxy spill Progress bar 100% 

Slots so far (no limit until the off chance that I get overwhelmed lol):
1. Shaded Fulbody for Goldbeauti Galaxy spill Progress bar 0% 
2. 2nd Shaded Fulbody for Goldbeauti Galaxy spill Progress bar 0% 
3. Full Scene, Flat Shading for Hiyawoffa Galaxy spill Progress bar 0% 
4. Shaded Waist-Up for PhoenixxAmaranth Galaxy spill Progress bar 25%
5. Full Scene Full Render for Reblod Galaxy spill Progress bar 0% 
6. Shaded Bust for PityAction Galaxy spill Progress bar 0% 
7. Shaded Bust for Antasma Galaxy spill Progress bar 0% 
:icondecoleftup-plz::icondecoline-plz::icondecocenterup-plz::icondecoline-plz::icondecorightup-plz:


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